Vampire Strikes Back…

The whole world watched in awe and cheered as Perseverance Mars Rover softly landed on the Martian surface a week ago.

Dr. Swati Mohan, an Indian-American, was at the center of the landing viewed by millions globally. After what was labeled as seven minutes of terror, “Touchdown Confirmed,” announced Dr. Mohan, Mars 2020 Guidance, Navigation, & Control Operations Lead for the mission.

There was one lone voice from a cave in Mar-A-Lago, who didn’t like what the rest of the world watched and celebrated. The misogynist in chief has protested to NASA that a woman should not be anywhere near a Mars Program.

Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus – he said in his protest letter to NASA.

“Don’t forget I am the one who started the US Space Force – and let this lady work on Venus Programs all she wants – but Mars, that’s a no..no.”

Calvary, Cavalry, and Calamari…

The defense attorneys representing Trump at the Senate Impeachment Trial looked like two personal injury lawyers on TV commercials – compared to Constitutional Law Professor Jamie Raskin, the lead Impeachment Manager.

But, David Schoen, defense attorney, created a sensation when he came up with a brilliant defense strategy that impressed the senators who acquitted Trump on the charge of inciting an insurrection.

In the past four years, Schoen recounted, several instances where Trump mispronounced words, slurred his speech, and seemed disoriented in public appearances, which made media and late-night comedians call Trump a laughing stock.

In his final argument, Schoen pleaded Trump has a condition – whenever he eats his favorite seafood, sauteed calamari, it seems to interfere with his brain chemistry, causing  speech impediments. According to Schoen, Trump’s doctors at Walter Reed have isolated the cause to squid ink getting mixed up with the calamari that wreaks havoc in his left cerebrum.
Thus, Schoen delivered his punch line: “my client addressed his supporters, meant to say, Calvary –  a spiritual march to the sacred Capitol Hill, and not Cavalry   – a charge of the brigade.

Legal scholars believe this will go down in the annals of history, as the Calamari Defense!

Before leaving the chambers, Mitch McConnel said, “Galileo was convicted by the Catholic Church for his steadfast belief in Astronomy – we are not going to convict Trump on a matter of Gastronomy.

AOC Nominated for an Oscar – Best Dramatic Performance in a Reality Show.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the Congresswoman representing New York’s eastern district, recently re-enacted the scene to a documentary filmmaker about Trump supporters’ insurrection, breaking into the Capitol Hill, while both houses were in session.

Her portrayal was so vivid, jammed between the wall and the door that the insurgents were trying to break into, the crew filming the documentary were moved to tears just watching her re-enactment.

Senators Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley, who watched the documentary, said, they felt the horror of the moment by watching AOC’s performance – more than they felt it – while being there themselves when the break-in occurred. The entire GOP signed a petit

ion nominating AOC for an Oscar-worthy portrayal in a Reality Show.

Italian Heritage Foundation demands Marco Rubio drop his first name. .

The Heritage Foundation of Italy and the Merchants of Venice (a Venitian Chamber of Commerce) have protested the Italian Consulate in Miami, Florida, demanding US Senator Marco Rubio of Florida drop his first name, Marco.

The Venetians claim that their prodigal son, Marco Polo, the original Merchant of Venice, brought fame and fortune to his native city of Venice and his Homeland, Italy. His travels and the chronicles of his adventures through Asia are legendary and world-renowned. Marco Polo built bridges across continents and connected with people through his travels, and embraced people across the oceans from all races, religions, and ethnicity.

The Italians claim that Senator Rubio has defiled the respect and glory of Marco Polo by his actions on January 6th by voting to suppress the certification of Presidential election results. “We demand, Senator Rubio, drop his first name Marco immediately and find himself a new first name that will befit an anti-democratic sedition supporter.”

Rudy Giuliani sues Just For Men – claims hair dye made him look bad!!.

Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s attorney, has filed a lawsuit against hair dye manufacturer, Just For Men – claiming substandard product quality caused his hair dye to run down his face and portrayed him in sorry sight.

This incident happened when Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s attorney, along with his co-counsel Sidney Powell holding a press conference, where Giuliani spread false claims and conspiracy theories about election fraud and Trump’s landslide victory.

In their response, Just For Men claimed they stood by their product and its superior quality – and added – their product is used extensively by Monarchs and mechanics, Princes, and peasants.

They cited the user instructions: Our product is a permanent hair dye that sticks to the hair for several weeks. However, if there is a drastic rise in the scalp temperature, the stain will start to run. We inquired from the product manager when does the scalp temperature typically rises. His response, ” think of it this way, during a polygraph. If the subject answers truthfully, the scalp temperature is in sync with the rest of the body.. but if the person lies through his teeth, then the scalp temperature rises sky-high, and the dye will break up and run down your face”. Don’t blame our product, he said.

Poetry Corner…

The great Hou “did I say that” dini

“Trump is not guilty of incitement in article 1 house  impeachment “
“Trump is immoral and guilty of dancing on the table and blowing his trumpet during the insurrection”
“Pelosi did not send the article while Trump was President “
“ I will not schedule the trial till Jan 20”
– Do those Chinese ships belong to your wife (Elaine Chao)?
“ No! the eyelids of the sailors are frozen from the icy sea -can’t you see  they are American”
Are those Russians who own the Nickel mines in Kentucky?
“No!! They are Americans – their names have been hacked with repetitive consonants “
Is that your fat jowl hanging from your face?
No!!! It is just hot air running through my gills

 I-Gendran

Aung San Suu Kyi Arrested for – No Walkie the Talkie….

Myanmar’s Commander of the military, General Min Hlaing, a student of Lee Kuan Yew’s School for good governance, staged a coup, detained Aung San Suu Kyi, democratically elected leader of Myanmar. The military charged Aung San Suu Kyi of having six unregistered Walkie-Talkie units in her possession. The Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Aung San Suu Kyi, disappointed the global community when she went into a silent mode, refused to speak against the Rohingya genocide committed by the military and the extremist Buddhist monks. Aung San Suu Kyi’s silence was so loud, it was heard all over the world. 

Kellyanne Convey, is a closet Hindu.

Sean Spicer, first press secretary in the Trump administration, claimed that the inaugural ceremony for Trump “was the largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period, both in-person and around the globe.” When the media challenged those figures, Kellyanne Convey came to Spicer’s defense, when she said, there are “alternative facts” in a Meet the Press interview on January 22^nd. 2017. In an interview, after she left the Trump White House, Kellyanne Convey was asked why she came up with “alternative facts?” She said, “as a Hindu, I believe that The Truth is One, Paths are Many”, – in that spirit, Fact is One and Alternatives are Many.

Biden Shows Compassion towards Trump…keeps him away from security briefings.

Biden decides to exclude Trump from all future security briefings during the Biden Presidency in a show of compassion towards Trump.

 In a recent interview, when asked, Biden explained reasons for his decision: “Trump is couped up in a small apartment in Mar-A- Lago Club, and might even lose his secret service protection. With national security information in his possession, he is a prime target for kidnap and torture. So that is the right thing to do.”

Harvard Kennedy School invites Trump for Lecture Series

Harvard Kennedy School has invited Donald Trump to deliver a four week long series of lectures, titled, “ Democracy is Overrated”.The lecture series begins on April 1, 2021.

On the second day of the announcement, the program series filled up, with overwhelming interest from candidates from The Russian Federation, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and North Korea.