January 14, 2021.Governors from 49 States across the US have signed an urgent joint appeal to the US Justice Department, requesting NOT to house the seditionists who took part in the insurrection in their respective state prisons. Governor Newsome of California broke away from the group, and has offered Alcatraz, maximum security prison located in Alcatraz Island to house the seditionists. In a related story, the Al Capone family had lodged a strong protest, claiming that housing of the seditionists in Alcatraz would be a desecration to the memory of the Mafia boss who was incarcerated there until his death in 1947.
January15,2021. Cuban President Miguel Díaz-Canel is reported to have called President – elect Joe Biden, pleading with him, not to send the seditionists to Guantanamo Bay, where some sixty “enemy combatants” are still being held, with no charges brought against them. Diaz-Canel has cited domestic problems he is facing in Cuba. Diaz-Canel pleaded with Biden, saying insurrectionists within Cuba are always trying to overthrow his democratically elected government. “ I don’t want any more of this democracy haters on Cuban soil”, he said.
January15,2021. A crack team of investigative reporters have come to the defense of some of the rioters who were identified, arrested and are being held on minor charges, while serious sedition related charges are being contemplated. Fox, an ultra-liberal media organization, with a strong affinity for preservation of civil and human rights, has stepped up with vast financial and investigative resources to defend the arrestees. Some of the people Fox has come to the defense of: (1) Mr. Barnett, a senior citizen from Arkansas, who, according to Fox investigators, was pictured seated on Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s chair, was only resting while going through the drawer, looking for the $ 2,000 check that President Trump and Speaker Pelosi were fighting for, on his behalf. (2) The second case involved, Mr. Jacob Anthony Chansley, a fine young man, a vegeterian, and a yoga practitioner. According to Fox, Mr. Chansley came in to meet his congressman, to get his corona vaccine. Fox investigators explained that was the reason, why he was found with his upper body fully uncovered and arms exposed. When questioned about Mr. Chansley’s unusual appearance, team Fox explained that Mr. Chansley is a practicing Hindu, and was wearing holy ash and dressed like a Hindu holy man from the Himalayas. These are just two of the several hundred cases taken up by the team of civic minded investigative journalists from Fox.
Pulitzer for Fox? – they have my vote.
January 14, 2021. Colombo: An offer to house prisoners from the seditious activity from last week in Washington DC, came from far away Sri Lanka. It is not surprising, because both the President and his brother are US citizens, holding a US-Sri Lanka dual citizenship. Cash strapped Sri Lanka, saw its currency depreciate considerably, after the Corona pandemic, is always looking for a new revenue stream to quench its insatiable appetite for foreign exchange. (Those Maserati’s and Lamborghini’s suck up bags full of dollars).With tourism industry virtually stalled, and the vast amount of foreign exchange brought into country by foreign workers dried up, the Defense Secretary came up with this brilliant plan. They have offered their Bogambara and Mahara prisons to hold the seditionists who invaded Capito Hill. The Secretary of Defense, in an encrypted communique, addressed to the US Attorney General-elect, said in part: “we are well equipped to hold those low level insurrectionists in two of our prisons in Bogambara and Mahara. We have some great experience in holding insurrectionists in those two prisons and periodically riots break out and we lose some of the inmates – if you get my drift”. The Secretary added, “we have a brand new airport that is currently idling with luxury and semi-luxury accommodation where you might consider housing some of your elite prisoners (wink..wink)”. “It was built to the highest standards, based on plans drawn up by Colombia’s Pablo Escobar and Mexican drug lord El Chapo Guzman”!
